Do you ever wake feeling lost, as if nothing you have accomplished is worth anything? Like all the hard work was for nothing – you can see the progress yet it feels like you are standing still and everything around you is moving forward with out you? Today I woke with these thoughts and image’s swimming within me like silver fish of doubt and depression dragging me to darkness.
Depression is a monster waiting to devour happiness and glee, snatching accomplishments and blocking them from site. Its always lurking in the corner waiting for me. It’s the creepy guy in the alley that I walk past on my way to school who calls me. I ignore it. In My past life I gave in and listened to that voice, and allowed it to subdue me. Walking in darkness for days until the mood changed.
Now I write. I haven’t written on this format in over a year. Even though I have so much to say and get out, I choose not to place these thoughts out into the cyber world. Why, why haven’t I wrote on this platform? Fear. Fear of being judged, or attacked. Fear of offending someone, hurting someone’s feelings, or getting into a disagreement. Today’s society has gotten so touchy that just writing to avoid being depressed is a double take in fear of causing or being pulled into more trouble then needed.
Forgive my ramblings all in all don’t listen to the creepy guy in the ally, don’t answer the voices coming out of the dark corners. They mean you no good, all pain, mental frustrations and confusion. Stay the course of happiness, love, light, and enjoyment. Take the small wins and over time theyʼll all add up. Move in silence and don’t allow people to distract you from your goals. Push yourself to be better everyday and if you are struggling please seek out professional help or just talk to someone who is willing to listen and genuinely cares.